She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
