u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
