Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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