since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
