Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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