i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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