road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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