I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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