I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
