no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
