Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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