1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
