I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
