Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
