I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
