You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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