i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
