Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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