Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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