I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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