Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
