Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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