I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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