Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
