So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
