Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
