I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
