I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
