I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize