Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
