i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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