I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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