I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize