he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
