My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
