Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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