Are we in a gay sports bar?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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