she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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