dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
