according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
