pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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