Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
