come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I had to cum in my sink.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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