the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
