I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
