Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
