Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.