Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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