I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
