TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
