Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
