i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
