someone get that fucking seahorse.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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