Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
