Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
