It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Congratulations! We have a period
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