By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
