totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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