I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do vagina's smell?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My liver just had a heart attack.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
