My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
